“You are just chicken,” said the Governor. “Dueling has been relegated to the dust of antiquity.” “I have read your human pestilence history on the database. “I will not participate in a duel or any other grandiose spectacle.” “Dueling was outlawed centuries ago,” I said, now calm. “I believe that is your Old Earth custom.” “Choose your weapons,” said the Governor. I threw a punch at the Governor, but General Kalipetsis and his aides pulled me back, causing my swing to go wild. “I challenge you to a duel on a field of honor.” The Governor removed his dress white gloves from his belt and slapped me across the face. “That canine is valuable, highly trained Imperial property,” said the Governor, getting out of his chair and leaning forward. Repatriation of the dog is not negotiable, for fear of abuse.” “You obviously are insensitive and would make a poor Dachshund owner. “I am informed that Sampson does not like being called ‘little’ or a ‘wiener dog,’” I advised. The Dachshund lunged at the Governor, attempting to chew an ankle. He is the property of the Arthropodan military.” And five, I demand that little wiener dog be returned immediately. Four, I demand open elections to determine when New Disneyland will be brought back into the Empire. Three, I want permanent observers in place in New Disneyland to guarantee that spiders with duel citizenship are not abused. Two, I want face-to-face interviews with all Arthropodan citizens still detained at the New Disneyland Prison. These missionaries are to be released immediately. “One, the Legion recently kidnapped twenty humanitarian aid workers at a border crossing right here in Battle Creek. “I have five demands that are not negotiable,” announced the Governor, reading from a list. His mandibles twitched as he made an entry on his note tablet. Sampson continued to be upset, barking and snarling until they were seated at the negotiations conference table. “Come on, wiener dog, lets go meet the enemy.” Get Sampson his own set of dog tags, too,” General Kalipetsis ordered. “It will be worth it just to upset the Governor,” commented General Kalipetsis, taking Sampson by the leash. “He knows the Dachshund was with the spies.” “I guarantee the Governor will be extremely irritated when he sees Sampson,” I said. And Willie even had his own set of dog tags.” He had a bull terrier named Willie – William the Conqueror. “General Patton?” asked a surprised General Kalipetsis, now checking the database. There was nothing wrong with Patton’s reputation.” “General Patton, the greatest American general ever, had a little mutt that followed him around everywhere. I see a bright career in politics in my future.” I have a reputation and image to maintain.
“I can’t be seen walking a stupid little wiener dog like that. I am giving you the Dachshund as a gift.” “It was captured with those spies we caught last week at the border crossing. “This dog represents the spoils of war,” I said.
Sampson growled at the general, pulling at his leash and snapping. “You brought a wiener dog to important negotiations?” asked General Kalipetsis. I met General Kalipetsis in a conference room just prior to another round of negotiations with the new Governor. When they passed the Legion convoy, he even joined in and gave them the one-fingered salute. Hands held on tight as the bikers hit the road. If others can’t, that’s their problem.” The motorcycle lurched out onto the roadway. “My homes have been nuked three times,” said Amber. Do you not realize the misery that results from drug-dealing? Drugs cause brain damage.” “I hope so,” said Amber, still offering a pill.
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